Contact someone at Legal Aid and ask questions. You definitely qualify for free legal counsel.
You're not entitled to even half of what he's got? That's strange. You need a woman lawyer and judge. My niece had one and walked away very happy. Her ex-husband is an alcoholic.
Also to be taken into account for yourself is that fact you took care of everything of his while he was overseas. That must count for something regarding reimbursement of some sort.
Kathy