I'm highly triggered with this whole thing so I've been struggling with offering any advice but I have to DITTO DITTO DITTO to Stella here.
My AH loves our DD very much but that didn't keep him from acting like an alcoholic moron & making questionable decisions that put her well-being & safety at risk & you can bet the farm that I squashed that the very minute I saw it happening. NO ONE gets to ruin my daughter, not even her OWN father. NO ONE!
She HAS to come first because the rest of her life is being built on the foundation she is building right now. It's just not one of those things that you get a 2nd chance at.