Sorry u are so troubled. You said she slapped your 4yr old in the face. That is child abuse. Keep yourself and your children safe. I know it hurts but stop focusing on the good times and side of her and focus on the bad alcoholic times and what she is doing to you and your children. Kids are resilient and will love anyone that plays with them. They don't need an abusive parent anywhere near them. Next time she might do something worse. Hugs and strength