Need to vent. . .
This weekend started with promise. Talked to STBXAH who was upbeat about getting his apartment ready so he could have the boys come over this coming weekend. He was sober. His parents even call and invite the boys and I over for lunch Sunday. STBXAH was not there, and the whole experience was good - although I was nervous about going. The boys had a great time with their grandparents and things felt. . .normal. STBXAH never came with us to dinner at my in-laws anyway, so I have always been there by myself. I was feeling like things were improving.
Then, Sunday night reality hit in the form of a phone call. STBXAH calls, bombed. Tells me (surprise) that he didn't get anything for the apartment. He needs to come home because he "can't stay sober in the apartment and needs me to keep him in check". Hmmmm. . .so let's put this in perspective. Our oldest has ADHD and cannot focus in math. He would do better if I sat in on his classes. . .I mean, no need for accountability or being responsible! Brilliant! I tell him his sobriety is not my responsibility, and I will not put the kids through a trial period to see if he can do this - I think we all know he can't right now anyway.
He then tells me he is quitting his job. He can't stay sober while traveling. He has quit his job before and didn't work for a year and a half. I say he should find something else before he just quits. Too late. . .he has taken a week leave and they've told him to get his act together by next Monday or he's done. My mind immediately goes to our tax return, sitting in his account. I need half of that before it's gone. My STBXAH makes double my salary. I have money saved, but I am going to need child support. I seriously feel sick thinking about that.
The icing on the cake. . .our oldest had his conference track meet Monday, so now STBXAH should be free to go, right?!? He makes a huge deal about it, calling our son on his cell phone to say good luck, texting how he wouldn't miss it. He knew our son would run prelims first thing. Prelims go, son moves on. . .guess who isn't there? My MIL comes. Oldest asks her if she's there with his dad. She thinks he's gone to Chicago as planned for work. . .I break the news. She calls deadbeat. . .no answer. Our oldest goes on with the rest of the meet - it was an all-day affair - and places in every race, awesome day . .STBXAH never comes. I could kill him at this point.
So. . .tomorrow I meet with my lawyer. I have gone no contact since the track meet. He keeps texting how much he loves me, can't live without us, and my favorite. . .he'd do anything for us. When do they ever get it????????
Sorry so long. . .I am so frustrated, and I feel like if I tell people about this crap they look at me like I've sprouted a second head.