Hey PattyG - I have been thinking about you and wondering what happened.
Sweetie, with hugs and all this is simple - she is your drug of choice.
So as we tell all those whom are addicted - you have to make the choice to put down the drug and find your sober fulfilling life.
Put down the drug Patty - you know nothing good will come out of this. Its drama and sex. Passion. Its not the foundation for stability or life long commitment.
You are addicted to the merry go round of highs and lows with this woman. As for your kids, well kids will miss a stuffed animal. Is she really GOOD for your children? I mean you can't even trust her to be with them alone. Its a managed relationship it isn't real just a figment of what you want it to be.
At some point hopefully you will recognize this is an addiction and that the substance for true love and a lasting relationship isn't there. Sorry for all you have been through - glad you won in court *****!