I spent years wondering and worrying why - it got me nowhere.
I really think acceptance is the key.
I've been drunk and I've been sober - I know sober is the best way for me, by a country mile.
I want to be sober.
It took me a while to get to that place of surety - but it's a peaceful and contented place, and I believe anyone else you wants to can get there too.
Until we each hit that place, I think it's about having faith - faith that this way is right that recovery is the best way forward for you, regardless of what others are doing.
D