Man, School vacation week is finally over here. I am reading through days worth of posts to catch up. Sounds like quite a bit has happened and we've had a bunch of people join us! Sorry if I miss you!
emilyalice - Welcome! Your little boy is sweet. Keep at it! My DH was the same way for a long time about not seeing my problem. He sees it now, not so much as a problem still, but clearly if I think I have a problem, and have thought so for years, and have tried unsucessfully numerous times to quit, no matter how "functional" I may be, maybe the alcoholic shoe fits. It's a relief to have him accept it, because now he no longer sounds like my AV. I find that reading helps my adrenaline rush quite a bit. Not at first, but within a couple of pages (provided it's a good book) I shift into the story. It's still escapism, but it's better than drinking.
newlife79, Ali2013, DG0409, silverotter, Iwantmeback, April14, & mtbakerboarder - Welcome!
Dee74 - Vigilence. A very interesting topic. How do you stay vigilant about your sobriety? More on this below.?
fruitymarzipan - Glad you made it through work! GREAT JOB!
Goat - that stinks about your car being impounded. Good for you for admitting your fault in the situation and not blaming the government for it's stinking rules. Even though you're bumming, it's showing your family that you're taking responsibility for the situation, and that rocks in my book! That's a HUGE VICTORY getting rid of the shot glasses too. You're really inspiring me! That is funny about the exhaust system. Yes, I would think you'd notice that falling off! Being a "dry drunk" as you call it is one of my worst fears. My mom has been a dry drunk for 20+ years. She will say, "I didn't need AA. I just decided not to drink." I'd rather drown in the bottle than live that way. Fortunately, it's not an either/or.
Napster - Surf the grumpy. Interesting...I don't know how to do that. I more either bottle or explode the rage, then once the situation is over, I either have exploded, or am able to dump the bottle out later. I don't really hold onto the rage too long, but surfing it doesn't seem possible. How do you do it? Congrats on getting the bid out!
4Surf4Life - Third times a charm! Stick with us. We're a good group.
raja12 - congrats on making it through the weekend!
Liza - How are you doing today?
Ladybug2 - I had 3 desserts last night. Chocolate cake, brie with crackers, AND fruit salad covered in chocolate syrup with whipped cream on top and I don't even like sweets! But you're right. I didn't drink!
Dorris - Good for you! What is it about MIL's....
xMystiquex - Welcome! I wouldn't be interested in a NA beer. Begs the question of if I like beer so much, why aren't I drinking the real thing? Plus, I never liked beer all that much to begin with, particularly the type that comes in a NA version, and it has a ton of calories. I'd rather a diet coke.
DG0409 - What snacks are you finding help best with the cravings?
Beavis - What is Evan Williams? See my post to emilyalice above re: hubbies in denial.
AnotherPaul - Sorry about the funk. The thought of vodka in the freezer has me twitching a bit.
All Moody People - thanks for fessing up! See my rant below.
Day 25 (am I in prison or some sort of hostage crisis, this day counting is starting to bug me, but I like seeing your day counters, so I will tell my AV to shove it and continue counting)- We had an OD meeting today at AA in which the speaker didn't pick a topic, and I almost spoke up to ask what people do to keep vigilent, but the conversation quickly turned into how we shouldn't scare away newcomers (I guess something happened at some other meeting I wasn't at where some old timer told two "still twitchy newcomers" that there was not such thing as triggers, only choices, and the two newcomers got up and left.) This sponned a very intersting discussion which I enjoyed listening to very much, but I digress. I have been noticing that this week, with a couple of exceptions, was pretty easy. There were times when I didn't think about booze at all, and one time when I walked to the cabinet and was confused as to why I wanted cereal, only to realize that it's also where I keep the booze (cereal on lower shelf, booze on upper shelf), but I looked at the booze and didn't want it. But it must have been a subconcious thing, but anyway. What do you do to stay vigilent. I mean, obviously I want to stay sober and have serenity in my sobriety, but I feel like everytime I start feeling like "ok, this isn't so bad," I get whacked with this hit of anxiety of asking when the other shoe will drop. Do you know what I mean?
This afternoon was totally obnoxious and all I could do to keep it together. I constantly just wanted a drink and to SCREAM AT MY CHILDREN! This is the first day back from school vacation. They were bonkers from the second I picked them up in the car, and just couldn't function or keep it together at all. I would send them up to pick up their room, and 10 seconds later, they'd be playing the recorder instead. After asking my almost 10 year old multiple times to check the backstairs for his belongings, I had to forceably push him across the kitchen to get him to move. It was awful. I made some tea but it's NOT THE SAME! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! I HATE TRANSITIONS!!!!!
