Welcome Need. Sounds like you do need some directly, perhaps AA can help if you've never tried it over the years. I was brought up in a family where drinking was welcomed and encouraged in all facets of life, so I understand that. Having said that, I had to finally quit using that as yet another of my many excuses to keep drinking.
You can do this, and everyone here is a testament to the fact that there is life beyond drinking. And it's a good life - you will enjoy it.