Hello Nod and Welcome!
I'm sorry to hear that you chose to live the way you did. Alcoholism is a cunning, baffling, and powerful thing.
Wonderful news that you have come to the realization that you need to change something--that you need to stop drinking.
Now that you have made that decision, do you have a plan? There are many, many paths to recovery.
You will find a lot of kindred spirits in our 'Newcomers to Recovery' forum, too. Lots of people who are going through this very thing at the same time. I hope you will take the time to check it out!
Newcomers to Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Welcome, again! We are open 24/7. Please make yourself at home
