So I just really need to vent real quick! So last night at 4 in the morning I get 3 phone calls and 2 text messages from him telling me "call me please I really need help before it's too late" and then "this is not a joke".. So I have had these kind of calls before in the past so I chose to ignore them this time and take a pretty scary risk that he was just doing the normal routine.. I don't want to fall back into his games like I usually do. That was usually the pattern but this time I am more serious about ending the relationship then I ever have been. I was just curious what I should do if this happens again? It is a very uneasy feeling to have not knowing where he is and what he's doing, and if he really is in trouble. Again here I go i'm gonna say what I normally say... " I feel like I could not forgive myself if I woke up the next morning and he was ".. I hate feeling this way. I don't think it's fair. His mother, friends, they don't have to deal with the phone calls and texts thinking he is going to kill himself, they are not the ones getting the blame for his addiction... it's me. And it's really upsetting when i'm the one who has been there for him and tried to help. I just feel walked all over, and like I meant nothing. When I think about it to much it makes me feel bad about myself, but I know it's just him manipulating me. I just want to feel like my old self, before I met him.. Just when I thought I was feeling better, starting to get over this he had to start up again.. Thanks for listening.. I just really needed to vent. xoxo