I was served papers for separation today
I was served papers 3 minutes before my 14 yr daughter was to arrive home from school today.
RAH transferred $5K out of our joint account last night and I just happened to be looking at the banking as saw it - asked him about it. RAH told me he was xfering $ to Schwab.
I called an attorney today to ask a couple questions and mentioned the transfer of $. She thought it was suspicious and looked up to see if he had filed. Sure enough he filed today! She called RAH's attorney and found out they were on their way to serve me. I reatained my attorney right then and there.
RAH picked up DD14 from school (he nevers does that) and took her out to hang out. RAH texted me less than 10 minutes after I was served and tells me he picked up DD and they are going to hang out. I text him back and say thanks for letting me know, have fun! He texts me later asking if I received the papers and if I was okay - he thought I'd be upset (who woulnd't be? - right) I'm certain, by the looks on their faces when they came home, that he told her what he had done.
So, I receive papers for a legal separation. My attorney says to stay calm and don't act upset - just go on with my day/weekend. So I try to do that. DD comes home and shuts her bedroom door and watches a movie in her room - laptops!
RAH asks me if I want anything for dinner -he was going to go to the store - we start talking and I guess I didn't get all the paperwork I was suppose to get. Get this .... RAH doesn't want a regular separation, he wants to stay in the house, but only separate our finances. I'm responsible for whatever I spend. I have been a stay at home mom for almost 11 years. I don't have an income!
We had talked in January and I told him I would look for a part time job to help out. He tells me I refuse to work. I told him that's a flat out lie - he knows I've been looking - I talk to him about what kind of responses I"m getting, networking, etc.
Anyway, it feels like he wants a live in girlfriend who has her own job. Are we going to pay our own way for vacations? This is crazy!! This is not a marriage!!!! It feels very controlling.
RAH has manipulated DD so much to think I'm the bad buy!!! This kills me!! She wouldn't talk to me when she got home other than to say hi and she wanted to be alone. I get that - she probably needs some time to process. But now she is watching tv with him and spending time with RAH.
I'm just doing my own thing. Trying to trust God's path for me and trust He will take care of me. My biggest concern is DD because at 14 this is such a tough age - she has alot of friend stuff going on. Getting ready to tryout for high school sport in 2 weeks and promotes/graduates 8th grade in less than 2 months. I'm angry for him at his timing!!! But I understand alcholism is a selfish disease.
It seems RAH has opened Pandora's box and I don't feel this can be repaired/fixed/reconciled, etc. Looking for E S H and lots of prayers that I will have the strength to get through this and prayers for my DD.
Thank you!