I am nearly 45 and wonder these things as well, honestly I wonder about both, ‘what if I had quit earlier’ and then sometimes the opposite ‘What if I am hardwired as a drinker, after all, it’s all I’ve done my entire adult life’.
Obviously these two thought patterns conflict with each other, one wants to be free from alcohol while the other might be contemplating a drink.
In very early sobriety I was tortured by these conflicting thoughts but after 2 years of not a drop of alcohol things are much better, there are times (like these last few days) when I allowed myself to start the stinking thinking, when I get tired and/or hungry this can happen more often.
Right now I need to pull together my strengths and remember why I quit, I seen your post and I just wanted to chime in, just know that others too share your thoughts, even though I am 10 years younger than you, I too feel like I have wasted my youth at times, but then again we are molded by our experiences.
“We are not limited by our old age; we are liberated by it“ ~ Stu Mittleman
Hang in there, things get better every day!
