Congrats on 62 days!
Originally Posted by
Goose1 
If only...
The "what ifs..." and "if only..." are recovery killers. Don't go there. You are sober now. That's all that matters.
You are in early recovery. It will get better. I'm soon to be 57 and blessed to be clean and sober for 30 months.
The only what if that sometimes plagues me is, "What if I didn't get sober when I did." Makes me grateful that I am.
Good luck.