prodigal

I assume you have a mortgage on your house. I assume both of your names are on the title and deed to the house. Is this correct? If so, this a**hole CANNOT by law sell the house unless he buys out your portion of the equity.

Also, because he is legally married to you he cannot throw you out. However, the longer you stay away, the more likely the courts will consider what you're doing as "constructive desertion."

On the other hand .... you have the right to go to the court in your jurisdiction (at the state level) and see an abuse counselor. After that, you will go before a judge. Generally the judge hears restraining orders (more commonly referred to in my neck of the woods as ex parte's) after he has heard all the morning cases and just before he breaks for lunch. Based on the interview information he receives from the abuse counselor, he will ask you direct questions. You give him direct answers. Don't elaborate. Judges appreciate a simple "yes," "no" or very little details. If there is abuse and if you can also claim you have witnesses OR friends/family who will positively acknowledge the abuse, the chances are good the judge will issue an order to have the sheriff escort this jerk out of HIS (yeah, right!) house. You then have an opportunity to pack up whatever you please. If he comes near the house, you get on the phone IMMEDIATELY. The sheriff, generally escorted by a police cruiser will lock him up in jail. You must also have the restraining order with you at ALL TIMES.

Restraining orders prohibit an abuser from calling you at your place of employment, where you live, or coming within 100 yards of you anyplace, anytime up to one year.

I've been through this. I also study law, so at least I know how the domestic laws operate in my state. However, since the O.J. Simpson case, judges have been coming down HARD on men who abuse women in any way. I don't care how afraid you are .... you go to court and you watch "Mr. Bigmouth" back down. Like I said, I've lived through this and you wouldn't believe how scared these idiots become when the cops come to haul them out of the house.

I now live with an AH who is drunk most of his waking hours, unless he's passed out. He generally sleeps most of the time, goes to work about 50 percent of the time during any given month, and has accused me of everything from attempting to kill him to stealing and throwing his wedding band in the garbage! The longer an individual is enslaved to their addictive substance, the more paranoid, violent, and downright insane they become.

Please believe me, you DO have legal rights. It's up to you to have the guts to exercise those rights and get this scumbag out of your life.