I am going insane... I need reassurance!
I think my AH is driving me insane. He really has me feeling like I am in the wrong. I know it's the way he has trained me tot hink, but I can't stop.
My AH is a binge drinker and can sometimes be physically/verbally abusive. The Day after Thanksgiving we went out and he came home and before I could make it up to the house he was screaming at me. He told me he was going to kill me and wouldn't let me in the house. He ripped off my windshield wiper and cracked my window. I grabbed the dog and went to his sister's house, the only place in townI could go with my dog. He showed up, choked me twice and wouldn't leave. The next morning I went home and he had trashed the house. Frames were broken, curtains were ripped off the windows,he broke the night stand and took a knife to the mattress. I left and have only been back once to grab some stuff.
Usually he is very sorry the next day but this time for the first week he kept telling me I had to come home or he was going to sell the house, that I needed to come home and clean up his mess. Then he was sorry and would do anything so we made a counseling app. for Tues. but he probably won't show up. He is very angry that other people know, and now I am very embarassed as well. Tonight he said I could come home or eat sh1t and that he will move on if I am not home tonight.
He's the crazy one, right? Normally he is great when sober and a monster when drunk but he is just acting like a complete pyscho all the time now. I really don't want to be with someone who tells me to eat sh1t do I? I planned on only being gone until we got counseling and he knows I was planning on comeing home on Tuesday, but I'm not sure I want to at all now.
He just called me and said it's over if I don't come home. He thinks it's a game, and it's my life. Why do I think I should just go home???