emilyalice

Hello

I'm on day 10 of no alcohol - went clean after regularly drinking 3-5 bottles + per week for last 10 years. Would like to say I feel great but I feel sh*te. Had first few days feeling hungover, then a few days better: 'new healthy me & all that talk the talk stuff' but then day 7 on wards have had nausea, headaches, disrupted sleep etc etc. Plus, not drinking brings up all the reasons I did drink: to numb the pain, relieve stress, put up with the 'is this it' realisation of my life etc etc.... Sobriety is just so painful and dull and realistic and I'm losing the will to keep mentally 'high-filing' myself for not being a p*ss-pot while actually feeling quite jealous of those people,settling down with a nice long glass of wine after a hard days work.

Please don't tell me to stick with it as I will I'm just disillusioned. Sorry for sounding so grumpy - just it all feels a bit cr*p and pointless to do at the moment.

Am off to have 'another' early night... Will try not to get too excited....