Another newcomer
Hi everyone, I just stumbled across this site and it seems to be a very welcoming place with lots of support and resources.
I don't generally open up about this honestly so I apologize if this gets lengthy. I started smoking weed at 13 and substance abuse in one form or another has pretty much been a part of my life ever since.
For years I was able to slide by with my habits and function normally since they didn't necessarily cross over into full blown dependency. I still did well in school, have a scholarship, etc.. But in the past year things have really gone down hill fast. It's been a long time coming but I now clearly see the meaning behind this being a progressive thing.
Occasional drinking turned into binge drinking with friends on the weekends, which has now turned into drinking almost every night, and usually hiding it. I can easily drink half a liter of liquor, or a 1.5L bottle of wine, if not more. Adderall has definitely increased my tolerance and accelerated the process. (I'm prescribed this, but only recently started taking it again, and in all honesty I wanted the prescription more for the high than to help me in any practical way).
I've sabotaged relationships that were very important to me- one in particular that sort of set off the depression I'm just now starting to emerge from, I highly doubt I'll be able to pass all my classes this semester, I should be looking for internships but can't even manage to hold down a part time job... Basically I've just gotten to the point where I'm disgusted with what my life is turning into. And I'm only 22, it really scares me to think where this could lead if it continues.
So I'm not in denial that I have a problem, but I guess I'm still in the stage of not really wanting or knowing how to own up to it fully. I'm not opposed to AA meetings, I've been to a couple and think they're a great tool, but the religious aspect is off putting for me. Just from browsing through this site I've already seen some great info on secular or non-step programs and definitely want to look more into those. I know yoga and meditation will be a part of it for me as well. I was also wondering if anyone here has had any experience with the anti-craving medications like naltrexone, campral, etc.?
Anyway just thought I'd introduce myself and share what I'm going through right now, thanks for listening!