Dont know where to start...again.
Hello, I am new to the site, and don't really understand the lingo, or know exactly where to post.
I, am 22, and my fiancé is 28. I come from a very stable background. Both Mom and Dad danced on the line of alcoholism, but I was never exposed to negative effects growing up. However, fiancé comes from a long line of substance abusers. His mother, father, and sister all battle with significant substance abuse.
Fiance also has a background involving drugs and alcohol. He has been drinking, daily, since 16. Got in trouble with the law at 19 (five years probation) and again in 2010 (over a year in jail) both instances happening before he met me. He has two children, 7, and 4. Their mother also battled with substance abuse and is now on methadone.
Last November, fiance and I got into an argument. He was very intoxicated, and also on an upper called NRG, which was legal, but very similar to bath salts. He went crazy, and ended up getting arrested for busting up my apartment.
He was incarcerated until December, and he has been out on bond ever since. He was court ordered to have an IN-Hom device, which is like a breathalyzer for the home. He is supposed to take three tests a day. I hired a good attorney for him, and he suggested he go to AA. Fiance went twice, then began working 2nd shift and doesn't make time for it anymore.
I'm writing because I am worried I am an enabler. He has only drank a handful of times since December, and I know he's a recovering addict, but I feel as though he is only doing it to look good in court (May 6) he has asked me more than once if he can drink. I say no, he gets hateful, and sometimes I give in. It makes me sick. When we argue, or if I hang out with my friends, he tells me he is going to drink.
I am also prescribed phentermine for weight loss. He has recently been begging me to give him some. I did once (bc I feel like I'm the enemy if I don't) but he keeps asking. Over and over. Even after I say no. He is on probation, and can have a random drug screen anytime. I don't know if he gets it.
What do I do? I can't keep picking up the pieces for him every time he falls off the wagon.