Long story short (and I do intend to post more details when possible). But we have been in marriage counseling while he is also in therapy for emotional and verbal abuse. He's on his second therapist; the first one bought his **** hook, line, and sinker and the abuse got worse.
The marriage counselor has had some helpful moments, like identifying him, when he asked, as abusive. On the other hand, he rages at me and pours out all his bitterness and nastiness in these sessions under the guise of "sharing his feelings." And he schedules these at 8:30 am on weekdays.
Tomorrow is our last scheduled appt. She does not want us there and has told us to get divorced. But he keeps making appts because he is determined not to "quit" on the counseling this time (the longest he's gone with therapy or marriage counseling before has been six months, he doesn't follow through).
My guilt and worry is that I want to say no, don't make any more appts, but I dread the rage and abuse that will follow, the nasty sneering and self justifying "well, YOU gave up, not ME" crap. So I kind of want to wait him out. And this is like the only place where I feel like I can say this and have you all know that I'm not crazy and that he is just that manipulative!
At the same time, I know that his reaction is not really my problem and not something I can control; and it's not helping, and it's kind of harming me.
And, yes, today, I had a meeting with a therapist for myself.
Also, and OT, you guys are an amazing source of support and wisdom and, oddly enough, fun. I am still chuckling over the cheese deployment in CeciliaV's thread.