Loaded again
Hello folks. I am new to the site here, but not to addiction or to recovery. I was doing great as long as I was in my program which kept close watch on me and I had surprise pee tests, then when I got out of my program I found myself drinking a beer, still happy to be "free from addiction"......pretty soon my addict mind kicked in and I found myself loaded again.....off and on for a year and half now. Today my husband discovered what was going on and needless to say he is furious. As he has every right to be. I am lost again. I know what I need to do, but getting my butt out of my stink is the hard part. I know I need to go to meeting and get connected again, which is why I am looking here. My loathing, self-misery, hatred of myself, disgust and disgrace keep me in my funk!