Thank you so very much for this thread. I am struggling right now with letting my XAGF see my children - who are 5,3,3, and 10 months. She has no legal right to them but has filed in family court for visitation. Orginally, I had said if she lost, I would still let her see them. After alot of heartache the past few months waiting for this court date I decided against letting her see them. I have tremendous guilt and mixed feelings about that. I know she loves them but she is an active alcoholic and surrounds herself with addicts/criminals. My kids miss her and ask about her frequently. Yet i tell myself that kids love ice cream too, yet it isn't good for every meal. I am trying to make the right choice. My decision to end the relationship came when she filed. We were still together and only when faced with losing my children (by possibility having her gain joint custody) did I walk away.