DRC, while those may sound like reasonable words now, when you are finally faced with the results of the addiction in their teens, you will come to realise that it is devastating and cannot be undone.
The father of my AS is a nasty, cruel, vindictive man. We divorced while I was still pregnant with him. From the age of 3 I had to let my son go and visit his father. He came back one weekend and suddenly had a stutter which he had for years thereafter. When my son was little, he would tell me of some of his dads behaviour. He soon learnt that his dad became even worse when I tried to talk to him about it and my son went quiet, refusing to say anything. I tried to change visitation rights, but ran out of money.
I consoled myself with the fact that it is better for my son to see his dad and learn to cope with him than not. Only when the dam burst when my son was 13 did I learn of the cruel things his dad did to him. He suffered from severe anxiety attacks and depression. He found weed when he was 13 and it progressed to who know what else. He is still lost at 27.
The guilt I felt when I finally witnessed the effect of my non-action, was deep and is still with me. For many years I tried to fix what I didn't do by enabling my son.
My younger son also saw his dad but I had a lot mnore say in the frequency and kept it to the minimum. At 13 both my children decided they didn't want to see their dad again. Even when he tried to commit suicide, my eldest refused to see him in hospital. My eldest had been living with him as he ran out of all other options. My youngest (17), still refuses to see him.
What I am trying to say is that witnessing the final effect of this on your children when they are older, is very different than playing the scenario in your head now.