I have a daughter who is 5.
She has dealt with her Mother's addiction issues since the moment she was conceived. Born a crack baby. I've never held that against her though. She's sharp as a tack. She holds her pen like a novelist, while the rest of the kids in her class struggle with those fat crayons. Physically she's fit, mentally she's where she should be. The doctors say so and I find peace in that.
I have another daughter who will be 1 this June.
She's a perfect baby. Sleeps and eats good. Hits all her milestones when she's supposed to. No health issues despite the fact Mom drank a bottle of wine many nights while pregnant. Smoked crack on occasion as well.
Their higher power saw them through that.
The would haves, should haves, could haves attack me often but they're not reality. Truthfully I can only make things as comfortable as they can be. Their Mother is an addict, and I chose this for them. It's a choice that both my daughters will take to their graves.
Active addiction is no longer in our home nor will it ever be allowed again.
Despite this Mom will always be an addict. Today she's in recovery, tommorow maybe not. My girls are going to grow and learn this uncertaintity regardless if Mom is home or not.
Sadly, I totally expect them to cry about this when they're older.