Robby,
In the spirit of this thread, can you speak to your experience of letting things go and how it relates to AVRT and the beast. I really can see some similarities although I am not very good at wording my thoughts. I have come to believe that "The Beast" is part of a larger set of voices that tell me I am not good enough, not smart enough, etc.
Learning to recognize this part (that is not me) but is trying to run me seems key to my recovery. I was on a thread the other day and Lovetosail suggested "The Power of Now" audio version. I loved the idea of listening to it while driving or when I can't read. You and Received also gave it high praises, so I downloaded it. Through chapter 1 at this point and it's great.
I am still confused though. It also seems that my use of AVRT in the past has been a struggle about control...One which made me very proud and happy because I was winning. Moving forward with my recovery, I am realizing there is a lot more work to do. Maybe the "I" that is controlling is the real problem. Maybe this needs to go too and be replaced with an AVRT that accepts and lets go. I hope my rambling thoughts are somewhat understandable...