I'm crying and I don't know why.
Hi all. I am having a bad day here and I don't really know why. I should have just celerated a year sober on 2nd April but I hit a bad time in January and lost track for a while. I am on day 8 today and glad to be back on track. Unfortunately I have to live with the fallout of my drinking life and that is hard sometimes, like today.
I am very isolated (live in the countryside) and whilst great when I was drinking (lots of village pubs and good drinking community), I feel lonley and isolated since I stopped drinking. I got a dog last year and I walk her twice a day but today farmer told me to keep her out of the fields during lambing, no big deal and he was very nice, knows she's well trained, just worried about his stock, but it has really upset me, and I feel the depression coming on, hence the tears.
Getting sober is great but being drunk for so much of my life it still follows me. If I never had drunk my life would be so different. I am glad to be sober now, and have been fighting (and winning) for a number of years, but being sober means I have to see the truth. and that is that I have nothing in my life. Apart from my dog, and now I feel so fed up, just want to take myself and my dog to the nearest pub, life is too bloody hard without anesthetic. sorry to ramble on, not making much sense. Just very unhappy, wanted to let it out and don't want to go to the pub.