Kindeyes

Those characteristics and behaviors are great to recognize at this point!!! I always thought that being sensitive and loving "big" and trusting people were all virtues. That was how my mind was programmed to think. What is wrong with being sensitive, loving and trusting?

It's like anything else.......too much of a "good" thing.....is a bad thing. And that's what I eventually came to understand.

My sensitivity made me vulnerable to taking everything so personally that anyone and everyone had more control over my emotional state than I did.

Love is wonderful but I found that my form of love could be extremely unhealthy....not just for me but for the people I loved.

Trust is important but it's something that should be earned not given away freely. And when someone proves to us that they can't be trusted, we owe it to them and to ourselves to either cut and run or give them the opportunity to earn it back. But it must be earned....so a period of distrust has to exist.....when we trust too much, we tend to go straight back to full trust without protecting or respecting ourselves.

Balance is the key. Everything is a "degree of want and balance". If I want something more than someone else, I'm going to have to give more to get it......and unfortunately with the characteristics described above......I was giving more of myself away than I was getting back from others. The "degree of want" was out of whack.

Think of yourself as an asset.....like a piece of property. If you want to sell it more than someone wants to buy it, you have to come down on your price.....sometimes way down. If you think you have a "buyer", you may throw a bunch of things in just to get that piece of property sold. When a buyer finds a desperate seller, they'll take as much as the seller is willing to give away.

You're worth more than you think. Wait for the right "buyer" who wants you as much as you want them......then you're both willing to give what it takes to make a relationship work. In most cases, an addict wants to take way more than they are willing to give....it is how the disease works. How much of you are you willing to give away to strike a deal?

Take care of you.

gentle hugs
ke