I am sorry he has chosen this route. Clearly he has no issue spending monies that could go to your family and prefers to hand them over to an attorney. Hopefully at some point he will realize that when he takes from you by trying to punish you he is really taking from himself.
I just went through this with a friend who divorced though no addiction issues in the marriage. She filed, the husband who is a member of one of the most prominent families in our city (i.e. extremely wealthy) fought her to the death in the divorce. Tried for full custody, tried to prove her unfit, tried to leave her destitute, tried to ruin her reputation - tried everything. In the end they settled 2 years down the road....she got her fair share and shared custody of the children. He spent 1 million dollars with his attorneys. He got no more or less than he would have had he negotiated with her in the first place.
Now they are completely friendly. Just the route he had to go. Seems that Shootingstar1 went through this as well and just this week settled with - exactly what was fair.
Sorry he is being so stubborn - glad you are finding joy in life anyway!