..i know he loves me unconditionally.....
Before I comment on this remark, I just wanted to say that I love Sarasota. One of my favorite things to do is to go to the Tommy Bahama Cafe, camp out on the balcony, and people watch. I love Siesta Key, the Old Salty Dog, the Beachhouse on Anna Maria Island, and especially Michael's On East. You're lucky to live where you do. And with that...
You believe he loves you unconditionally? Even though --
so we would go out for drinks......then i found out he would lie behind my back and get HAMMERED by himself without me there....so many times he told me was in bed or "still working" but he was getting *********.....
Or --
we were suppose to be moving in together to a nice townhouse last month but it never happened because he wrote a check from a closed bank account, he didnt want to hurt my feelings and tell me he wasnt ready.....
Does this sound like a man who loves you unconditionally? Does this sound like a man who is your soulmate?
Evey, you're 24 years old. I have a niece your age. And while I completely, utterly, and wholeheartedly empathize with your heartache, take a step back and look at him objectively. There is no such thing as an ex-addict. There are addicts that ultimately take responsibility for their actions, grow as people, and stop using drugs. There are addicts that may abstain from using but still behave atrociously. And then there are the addicts that continue to use, and will lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate everyone and anyone to satisfy whatever they need at a given time.
I by no means want to marginalize your pain or your suffering, because it is genuine. But whether you choose to believe this or not, you've just dodged a bullet, and that bullet is your AXBF. You can't help him. You can't save him. And I can assure you that the pain and suffering you're feeling right now would be nothing in comparison to if you two did marry, have children and he was pulling this act now. Because then not only would you be heartbroken, you'd be legally bound to him.
What I would like to see you do is to take all that love you have for him and give it to yourself. You come first. It's time to take care of Evey. Coming here's a good start. And as soon as you finish reading this, I want you to go to our sticky notes and read "What Addicts Do" over, and over, and over again. Because that is EXACTLY what you're up against. You're 24 years old. You don't need, or deserve, the sort of heartache and mindf**k you're getting from this guy.
ZoSo