I've made some very harsh boundaries when I've been upset, and I've regretted them. In a weird way, I've been thankful that my AH was too blitzed to really remember them after the fact. I got some really good advice from folks here on boundaries: boundaries are for me; I don't have to communicate them if I don't want to; and if I'm going to communicate them, I should do it when I'm not ticked off or in reactive mode, and I should communicate them when my AH is sober. I backed off from the "OMG YOU'RE OUTTA HERE" directives because I couldn't stand behind them 100%. I communicated what I was comfortable communicating - that I have little patience left, I can't live long term with an alcoholic that's actively drinking, and my patience may run out very very soon so I suggested that AH start looking at alternative living arrangements to be safe. Those were things I was comfortable with.
Do you have to stick with what you said about his choices (drink & go, or don't drink & stay)? That's up to you. Some people may disagree with me, but I don't think you have to do it just because you said it. Yes, you may lose some face & credibility, but you need to do what you want to do. But his choice to keep drinking does show you where he's at right now. He's caught in the grip of a terrible disease, and you are too.
My best recommendation would be to put in your filter...if you're not ready to kick him out or leave, don't threaten it...it will just be seen as empty threats and can feed into the chaos. Take it day by day. If your safety isn't an issue, then it's okay to decide not to decide right now. Do what feels right, and just take care of you. Sending you strength, hope, and hugs.
