There's a whole lot of resentments that haven't been worked through. Until the resentments stop and are replaced by wanting to forgive, work together, etc., neither will the obfuscation, minimalization, and sabotage.
If someone minimalizes your concerns, whether it be snakes or anything else, call them out on it. Cal it exactly what it is. Makes a person look at themselves and makes them realize that you know they are trying to diminish the validity of your feelings by dismissing them. And that works both ways for all in partnerships...that we have to remember.