ah, better direction.
seeing/knowing i can be a dissector myself, here are some thoughts, or uh, here's my experience: it's easy for questions to be put in a way that seems hostile. pursuing. relentless.
or for people to make statements instead of asking, when asking would be much more to the point.
to me, it comes more naturally to offer opinions (whether people ask for them or not!) (i grew up in a family where arguing is the main way of communicating, and whoever cannot keep up with the logical sequence until the last definitive pounce is the LOSER), and i've had to and continue to have to work at asking.
saying "well this just makes no sense and is contradictory to..." sure. easy.
but asking "hm...how do you see then ...and"is much more difficult. partly because i have to scrap the preconceived judgments. i have to decide to want to hear.
this feels much more vulnerable to me.
such safety in the judgments.
anyway, that's me.
and the "so-and-so says thank you..." in my mind feeds into that. lots of posts are useful, but it seems that feature is easily used to show agreement, or liking. it's like rating some-one's post, in a way.
i noticed when i started posting here that i've had to make a real effort to not be concerned about posting and having no "thank you...", or worrying about what i'd said to offend ...yikes! the projections! the insecurities! good learning experience for me, seeing how much i want to be "liked" and how i react when i'm not getting that feedback.
okay, back to business.
very useful thread in many ways.