Originally Posted by
AnvilheadII 
you just MET the guy, i'm not sure you really get a vote yet on what HE needs to do with his life?? you say HE needs to "fight for it" but you have NO experience with addiction or alcoholism so you have no idea what that looks like or what it takes. whether HIS method for not drinking is right or wrong, recovery or not, it's HIS choice. can you just back off and DATE without trying to help him manage his life?
I don't believe I wrote that I want to get a vote on it or that I think it is easy. I'm sorry if that was the impression my text gave. Nor that I believe his method is wrong or that I want to manage his life.
If I thought it was wrong I would not ask if it's possible for someone to recover on their own. I ask because I don't know if it is. Not because I believe it's wrong. And if it was possible to do without therapy, AA, etc, what the best thing I could do would be.
I'm also not saying he should fight all by himself or that if he relapses it will just be his own fault. But I don't think I could stay with someone who would just say "It's everyone else that's wrong, I dont have a problem, everyone else should change for me."
Again, I don't mean to sound controlling or ignorant. It's not who I am and I'm not trying to control him or say his method is wrong. It is indeed his own choice, of course.