Again, I would like to thank all of you for responding.
Doggonecarl, you probably have a valid point. I guess I really wish that moderation was easier for me. Maybe I do need to take a long hard look at my life. Although by joining and talking and asking questions, that's what I am trying to do.
I talked to my husband tonight when he got home from work. I told him I've joined this group. He was surprised to say the least. We talked for a little bit and I mentioned that I wasn't sure if I could cut back this time. I said that I was going to give it a month of trying to only drink one night a week, in moderation, and not keep booze in the house. And that if I find that I slip up, even once, that I will know moderation isn't possible at this point and that I am going to go for total sobriety. He said that his issue with my drinking is concern for my health. I NEVER drive when I have been drinking. I had a cousin killed by a drunk driver when I was 5 and my mother and one of my sisters were almost killed by one 5 years ago. So that has never even entered my mind. I always make sure I have a DD. So his issue isn't that I'm irresponsible. And he said I'm very good at managing the house and the kids. He just doesn't want me in an early grave.
Frankly, neither do I. I hope I can count on some of you to talk through all of this. Thanks for the conversation this far.