jereberly, it really does sound like he's been white knuckling it and is understandably having a hard time of it. I also understand that you want to be supportive and you want to help. If you're going to hang around, go in with your eyes open - learn as much as you can about addiction. I recommend "Pleasure Unwoven," available in full on YouTube - great resource for understanding the disease model of addiction. There are tons of other resources here - lots of stories of what others have gone through in their experiences with their A's, and the stickies in the F&F forum are a goldmine. My addiction reading list so far has been "Everything Changes" by Beverly Conyers, "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews (a little dated, as it was written a while back, but a good intro), and "Get Your Loved One Sober" by Robert Meyers and Brenda Wolfe (just started this one).