Looking for support
Hello. Ive been lurking for awhile, and finally gathered the courage to post. I've been married to an addict for about a year and a half. I knew he took prescription painkillers before we got married, but I didn't know how bad it really was. My husband is prescribed Percocet for back pain through a pain clinic, but abuses his prescription and then buys more off the street. He has spent thousands on pills, while our bills get further and further behind, and I struggle to make ends meet. To make matters worse, we have a 10-month old son. I struggle daily with wanting to stay with my husband and be there for him when he finally decides to reach out for help, and leaving to make a better life for my son and I. I've threatened to leave him in the past, but he says he couldn't live without us, and threatens to kill himself. Im finally starting to see through the threats and to realize that the ways I thought I was helping him were only enabling him. I've been "controlling" his prescription for awhile, and get blamed when he's in pain and I won't give him anything. I've told him I'm not doing this anymore and that once his prescription is gone, there's no money for anything else, and Im leaving him if he buys anything. We are moving to a new apartment at the end of June, and I told him if he buys any pills outside of his prescription I'll be moving alone with the baby.
I want so badly to help him, but I know it has to come from him. I still love him, and want to help him change, but I have to put my baby, an myself, first because he isn't going to. I just need some support right now, especially from anyone who's been in a similar situation. I will neer be able to make ends meet without him being at least a part of his sons life. I work fulltime, and my husband cares for our son 2 days a week (he works weekends but has 2 days free durin the week) and I can't afford to change and have him in daycare those 2 days. never mind trying to figure out how to pay rent on a single income.
Another problem is that his mother knows of this problem, an will give him money when he calls telling her how much pain he is in. I've tried to ask her my to do this, but she still does. His father was an addict, but commuted suicide several years ago while high. His mother enabled his father their entire marriage and has now moved in to her son. I have a linked savings account to our checking account that my husband does not have access to, do I am able to somewhat protect our money, but I can't stop him from getting money from her!
I apologize if this is kind f all over the place, but I have no outlet right now to talk about this with, and it's been festering for almost 2 years.