Hi Black, I'm so sorry. This must be so hard for you. I can't really imagine and there isn't even really anything to say that will make it any better. When these things happen, I have to look at people who have endured or lived next to tragic amounts of suffering and see how they survived it. Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Ghandi, my friend who's little girl was hit by a car and died. I don't know how any of them got up to another day to their reality.
I think our hearts get a big deep empty hole carved out when bad things happen...thats why it hurts...and I guess we have a choice to either fill that big hole with love, compassion, and service or anger and misery. Like a cup. The cup is the form but it is the emptiness of the cup that has the real purpose. Eastern sages get credit for that. Not me.
Snaggle, no one knows what your journey will be or how it will unfold. It's your journey and yours alone. Stick around and say whatever you want to say whenever you want to say it.
xxxxx and an oo