Day 3
Well, two days down and onto day 3.
Yesterday was a tough day. I felt annoyed at my bf- no real reason just that I was tired of him being around and he was making some noise in the kitchen... I think it's more a reflection of me than what he was doing. But I handled it ok: I took off for a drive and bought a bottle of juice to drink and calm down. Once I got home I just felt anxious and grouchy again though.
Still, I made it through it. I suspect the feelings are due to coming off the booze, or maybe from the booze, it's not that I didn't get anxious and grouchy when I drank, just that I'd drink to deal with it so now I notice it different. The last year or so, I've started to think that I have an anger issue, but I think it came from the alcohol.
Last night, my bf bought things for my favorite mixed drink, but I declined to have one. I didn't exactly tell him I was going to quit drinking. I know you're supposed to tell everybody and get support, but he never really is supportive when I say I need to quit. He always touts the awesomeness of moderating one's drinking instead... which I am really the absolute opposite of awesome at actually doing. I think he drinks too much too, and I didn't want to threaten his drinking if that makes sense. I guess I thought the conversation would be so stressful that it would make me want a drink. And strangely, I want this recovery to be MINE. Two nights in a row my bf has offered me a drink though, and I simply say that I'm not drinking then. It's actually rather satisfying in a way.
This morning I wake up, glad to have something to be proud of, even if it is just one more day added onto my two days alcohol free.
Spent some time this morning reading about PAWS since I saw some references to it on here and didn't know what it meant. Learning more about the effects of alcohol and quitting was probably a good thing.
Time for Day 3 without alcohol. No drinking for me today.