(((((Sunshine)))))
What an AWESOME post!!!!
I know this must hurt you!!!!
I was the AD who got told by ALL my family that it was my problem and only I could fix it. Until that time, they loved me very much but could not help me. They told me if I called, they would hang up, if I came to the door it would be shut in my face and if I tried to steal from them they would call the police.
I moved across the country to California. It took me 2 1/2 more years before I found recovery and the 1 1/2 years I lived on the streets of Hollywood. I was 3 weeks shy of my 36th birthday when I 'surrendered'.
I tell all who find SR that this was the BEST THING my parents ever did for me!!! I will be forever grateful that the finally took the stand they did.
I know I was over 3 years sober and clean when my mom and I had a heart to heart talk and she shared with me that she and dad had reached the end of their ropes. They didn't know about Alanon back then, but she said they had both agreed that if they did not disconnect form me they were both going to end up in a padded cell in straight jackets.
I literally thanked them every week (we talked on the phone at least weekly and I visited for 2 weeks at a time at least 2 to 3 times a year) on the phone and more often when I would do my 2 weeks visits to Florida.
There were other issues that my mom and I had to work on, but I can say that their trust did come back and overall I had a pretty good relationship with them until their individual demise.
Just wanted to give you a 'positive' story on how this can and does work.
Sending prayers for you and your family, and extra prayers that you son's HP helps him to reach his 'personal bottom' and find recovery.
Love and hugs,