Welcome to the family, tea. You aren't alone with this - we all understand.
I drank for 30 yrs. I also had dwi's & many other problems caused by my drinking. It was never enjoyable anymore - just a horrible habit that kept me numb and foggy all the time. It had to end. I'm glad you want a better life for yourself. You can make it, tea. I hope you'll keep reading and posting here - we care about you.