First Post
This is my first time really talking/expressing about the issues I deal with on a day to day basis. My mother is an alcoholic. In the beginning of last year it began to get bad, she would come home from work, go in the backyard and drink either a bottle of wine or several beers on a regular basis. I wont say my age, but i am young and this is my struggle with an alcoholic mom... Things started getting worse and worse in May/June, she would get so drunk in front of my little brother and I and it was so embarrssing. I just didnt get it, why couldnt she be normal and just have 1 drink? Sometimes she would go out, and come home completly wasted falling all over the place, slurring her words and just so drunk. It began getting progressivly worse, she would tell us she didnt have a problem and its okay for her to have a few beers when she wanted to. My brother and I would try and hide the alcohol from her so she wouldnt get drunk but she would get really mad and demand for it back. There was a party she went to on her birthday at an old friends house, my brother and I stayed home while she was at the party untill 3 am. She had fallen and had a huge bruise all over her arm from being drunk and not being able to walk properly. Along with that, she brought some weed home from the party and was smoking it in the backyard in broad daylight. When i walked outside and saw her doing that, i was so upset, ran away crying as she started saying "OH im smoking it because im in pain" and all these other dumb excuses. After this, she would continue to drink, and drink and spend tons of money on alcohol not caring how it affected me. Then around mid-august, she went out with her friends to a party as usual and had an accident. She was so drunk that she fell getting into the cab and got a huge black eye and bruised shin. The next day, she slept in untill around 1 in the afternoon. Then after i heard her crying and talking to my dad, she came out of her bedroom and told my brother and I she was going to rehab. She was really embarrassed and upset about everything she had done and decided she needed to go. A month went by and she was home from rehab. Life was good. Not having to worry about a drunk mom was just so nice. About 3 months later...it all ended. I found her in the backyard drinking a beer, i was really upset but she assured me it was only 1 drink and she was fine. ANd then came christmas, we were at my aunties house on christmas eve having fun with the family, and she got drunk. That completly ruined our christmas. We thought that everything was falling back into its old ways. What was even the point of rehab, shes just the same now i thought. Ever since then, shes gotten drunk and come home unable to walk and completly trashed about 5 times and continues to hid drinking about 3 times a week i'd say. SHe goes to AA probably once a week, but i dont think its helping becuase shes still drinking. She tells me that its okay for her to have a drink or 2, its like she thinks shes different from all the other alcoholics or something. i always tell her, you either drink or you dont. theres no "i can have a few beers". Being sober means no alcohol at all, that was the point of rehab. its really starting to affect me, i dont have anyone to talk to about this. im too embarrassed to tell any friends, and i get really angry and mad about it because nothing i say will make her change. ITs been too many times having her crying to me saying" im so sorry i'll never do this to you again" and blah blah blah. i dont even want to hear it anymore. Shes an amazing mom, but the drinking is affecting me more than she knows it.