Originally Posted by
dandylion 
Liz, in my opinion, the short answer to your question is that, thus far, you have not done the type and amount of work that is necessary to heal your childhood wounds and deal with your co-dependent nature.
sincerely, dandylion
Funny, but I feel like I have done so much work and I'm worn out emotionally at this point. Al Anon, individual counseling for a year now, working with my sponsor, and journalist daily all my crap. I just want to crawl in a hole and stop. I feel done with everything. Tired of working through my childhood trauma, tired of the flashbacks from being molested, raped, etc. I just want it all to end and being married to my AH doesn't help because I get distracted by his stuff and go all codependent. I just am so ready to shut off my brain. I turned off my emotions a long time ago and I really don't like them coming around anymore. Why I decided to 'work' through anything fit now is a mystery to me. I hate what I've become, and that is the honest truth. I'm sorry I'm such a downer but I am in a bad place today. That dream was just too real!