I understand "loving your house" ~ but just my e, s, & h - I thought I really loved mine too, but my exah wouldn't leave - it because unsafe mentally & emotionally for me to stay ~ I left.
I became so willing to be in a safe place that I decided I would sleep in a cardboard box on the side of the road than sleep in that house any longer.
Now, 5 yrs later ~ I have a better life and a much happier safe home ~ I just had to be willing to Let Go & Let my HP lead me to what was healthier for me
wishing you the best
pink hugs