Oh thank you friends,
You've given me so much to think about. I think ultimately, the arrangement for contact will be the right one. But, maybe I need to start out asking for more. It's been 10 months since he's been gone. Visits were supervised until last month. The first non-overnight, unsupervised visits seemed to go well. He's been pretty decent with the boys on the phone and skype too. We don't have any real evidence to show his alcoholism - no arrests, etc.. He says he hasn't been drinking for 10 months...but there is no way to know for sure.
But now is the time to ask for what I want and what I think the boys should have...it will only be harder later. He's still on the opposite coast and will likely not be here much and I've said a definite NO to them travelling out there without me....that is not negotiable.
It's not in me to engage in a fight...but if there ever was a time it is now.
I'm so grateful to all of you for your support and wisdom.
Hugs,
MamaKit