Jodane, stay strong, you can do this, you got this. I am day 26 no contact whatsoever, but he abandoned me 5.5 months ago...the book Journey from Abandonment to Healing helped so much and of course so did this forun......I can tell you that he called between Nov. 1st 2012 which was the day he left til March and sobbed and tried to get me back he would have.....but then something happened, I don't know exactly what it was but I can tell you without a doubt, he has no chance whatsoever anymore, zero, zilch. I never want to see his face again or see his voice because it is the voice of the devil himself. Please stay strong, my ex sounds just like yours....you can do this, pm me anytime and can I just say wow, EnglishGarden, that was probably the most amazing,realistic and enlightening post I have ever read on SR in the 5 months I've been a member. I strongly suggest it as a Sticky-thankyou, thankyou, thankyou for reminding me of why I went no contact and why I am so better off. Hugs to all of you from Canada.