I am my own worst critic!
OMG I did this into recovery from my addiction, ie "I'm not good enough", "they don't like what I said", "why didn't he/she/it say that this way?", etc and on and on and on.
I started to understand when others would tell me to take the BIG truck chain I was using to beat myself up with, and put it in the back of my closet, when I started and then completed my 4th step and went onto my 5th step.
Then when I got to Alanon at 3 years sober, that 'wonderful' NOT self criticism seemed to return, when in reality it was still my lack of self worth and self esteem. I was hauling out that 'big truck chain' again and beating myself up. Well, ...........................as I started working the 12 steps again, from the perspective of Alanon, again when I reached and did the 4th and then the 5th step I had some new revelations for me.
I still do my 'self analysis' daily at the end of the day as part of my 10th step, but it is different now, I am looking for ways in which I may have, not intentionally, or intentionally hurt someone during my day's activities. Big difference.
So, yep you will change, you will regain your self worth and self esteem, you will not beat yourself up all the time, etc as you work the 12 steps and then learn how to LIVE the 12 steps. It does get better and better!!!!
Love and hugs,