How did you know change was genuine?
My AH seems to be doing well, in some ways(not all). He has stopped drinking without a program and appears to have been successful so far(I think it's been about a month). He is going to weekly individual therapy sessions. For the most part, he's being agreeable, offering to help out with things, being available when I need to discuss general stuff about the house or our son, etc. I am doing my best to reach out and greet him with a kiss every AM, same thing at night. I am cheerful and also honest about how overwhelmed I've been with my crazy schedule. By talking about my vulnerabilities I am hoping to get a deeper conversation with him going.
The only problem I seem to be having is that he doesn't seem interested in reaching out or talking about anything on his own. I have to constantly be the one to open up the door to a talk about anything. Yet, when we're on the phone he's very gregarious and will talk my ear off. I just don't get it. In person, he's standoffish, quiet, sometimes withdrawn especially when he's glued to the TV and gives me one word answers. Yet, when we're on the phone I get his undivided attention and conversation.
Anyway, I was looking for information on how to 'know' if someone's change(or path to change) is genuine or if they're pulling the wool over your eyes again? I'm sure some folks here have been down this road, probably more than once. I have this pull inside of me to start reaching out but then my head starts talking to my heart and says, "Wait a minute. Take it slower, wait and see, etc." We haven't done much talking about the drinking but I can usually tell if he's been drinking when he's traveled for work and I didn't hear any signs of it in his voice or personality. I guess I feel conflicted. I mean, I know that he's not going to change his personality completely overnight but I do see glimmers of hope, yet there's a small little voice inside me that says: proceed with caution. Does this all sound familiar?