Originally Posted by Sunshine2

Oh lordy, I definitely used to be a classic codependant. When that went, my counterdependancy surfaced. I finally have a name for it!

My dad died when I was two and my mom was in such a state of bereavement that for my own survival, I had to be the one to try and make her happy. She told me the story that a year after his death, my grandma came to visit and told her she will have to pull herself together as all I was doing all day was to sit quietly in a corner. Most of my life my sole purpose was to keep my mom happy.

I understood perfectly where my desire to keep people happy at all costs came from. At some stage I freed myself from my role, but I have always pushed men away from me. I understood that it was probably from the pain of my dad who "left" me and the consequences. This has not healed and has transferred to many of my relationships, including the ones with women friends and family.

I will definitely get the book. Thank you. Maybe now that I have a name for it, healing is possible.