So I joined this forum a few days ago after I decided to stop drinking.
I basically failed and drank the past two days. Now I'm hungover, have tachycardia (not uncommon for my hangovers), and am regretful.
I'm triggered by just about anything -- seeing other people drink, talking about it, loneliness, boredom, etc. I don't know how to handle it a lot of the time. I'm applying for jobs and am planning on starting horseback riding lessons. I really hope it proves to be enough to curb my drinking.
The social anxiety is huge, too. It's so easy to be socially normal when drinking, but I'm so quiet and awkward during outings when I'm sober. I'm pleasant when I drink with others, and people end up liking me because I'm open and talkative. When I don't drink I don't know what to say or do half of the time and people will tend to think I'm stuck up or rude.
I'm not sure how to not be so socially awkward . . .
Just venting. This is the first time I've felt very serious about quitting drinking and I'm just having a really hard time with it because of my shyness . . . and I guess general unhappiness. When I'm happy I find I'm more talkative, but that's so rare nowadays. But it's a vicious cycle, because even my psychiatrist and therapist say that the alcohol only worsens depression in those with bipolar disorder (which I have), so the very thing I'm using to aid my social anxiety/depression is CAUSING me to be more depressed and socially anxious when sober.
*sigh*