Obviously, you are not getting the answers here that you are looking for. You may be better off discussing this with a counselor. Someone trained to provide you with the direction you seek. Kudos to you for working on your own codependency issues! We too are just ordinary people with addiction issues, trying to improve our lives. Life is tough and sometimes unclear. I wish you well!
Edited to say: I am just an ordinary person with an alcohol addiction problem, trying to improve my life. Sorry guys and gals, it is not my place to speak for others.