I've been through the physical part before. I can handle it. I've been using a lot. I was clean for several months then my dad died in October and we were estranged for 7 months he would not speak to me except with hate and anger in his voice a few times. When he died in October I started using again. Pretty much every day. 10 10mg vicodin(at once) Benadryl and whatever I could get to (Lyrica, Xanax, soma). Yesterday I did it twice. 10 each time. It's gotten bad. I'm using heavier than ever.